last night , and more thoughts

oh did we ever have a good timee last night.

it was my friend christinas going away party.

she is leaving early tomorrow to return home to germany.

so we all threw her a surprise party.

it was alot of fun.

terina and i were incharge of decorations , and we went pretty insane .

it was fun .

than after christina arrived

we played a game ,

kinda like truth or dare.

but their was dares inside the balloons and you had to pop the balloon than do your dare.

i had to smell someones shoe for 10 seconds ..

oh christina had to call a random boy

it happened to be someone off my phone that she doesnt even know .

and we blocked it , so they wouldnt see my number come up .

and than this is how the conversation went

her - hey sweetheart

him - hi

her - whatcha up to there babe

him - nadda you

her - oh just thinking about you

i was wondering if you waned to go on a date with me

him - who is this

her - its me

him - and who is me

her - as if you dont even know

i thought you loved me

wow good job you broke me heart

..

you should have heard this guys voice,.

he was like what is going on.

priceless.

she ended up having to hang up cause she and all of us were laughing so hard.

after this game .

we kinda were all sitting around talking .

than the boys started dancing ,

so us girls joined in .

after that we were all getting pretty dang tired

so we went back to just sitting around ,

but overall it was a really fun night.

i love spending time with all the internationals.

you are all so amazing ,

and super fun to be around.

christina!

im gonna miss you so much babe.

i love you to death ,

and those couple days in dance class together were great fun.

i hope we keep in touch ,

and maybe in the future get to see each other again.
it was really great meeting you deary

friends forever and for always

so now im sitting here on the couch

feeling like im at least 90

also admiring my christmas tree.

its kinda an on going process.

one day we set it up ,

the next the lights went on.

a couple days later the bulbs and now the topper, and the pretty flower things.

once its done i will take a picture .

well i think im ready to stop typing,

my hands are kinda starting to hurt a bit .

nighty night.

oh ps auntie darlene we need to have a phone conversation one of these days.

i miss hearing your voice .

oh and possibly even a late night chick flick somewhere in there to !

ah . i miss you and cant wait to come back to smithers

kinda frustrated .

so yesterday i finally talked to my tap teacher.

and she didn't seem to impressed with me .

i told her how i honestly felt , and she did the same back.

everytime i told her how upset i was with the way im being treating

she simply replyed "sure"

and she still needs to think about giving me back my solo and trio .

ughh !

this is ridiculous.

my mom and i agree that if this is the way things ae gonna be were leaving.

i feel bad thinking that way ,

and i feel like it some sort of a dumb reason to leave.

but i do not come to dance every day to be told that i can't have something

that i work so hard for .

i practice and practice and practice.

and in those 3 classes i missed , i missed 4 steps.

well ... have we ever done those again . hm NO !

we sure have not .

but i mean honestly if she just shows me them ,

i can practice them ,

and no longer be behind .

but no instead she just assumes that i miss dance

to sit at home on the couch .

which is clearly not the reason.

i give up so much ,

i go above and beyond to show that i am dedicated.

i barely have much of a social life.

because im always at the studio.

i dont hang out with my friends outside of school ...

becuase after school i go to .. hmm DANCE!

and im sure saying all this about how i feel makes dance seem stressful

and probably not to well liked .

thats not the case.

i love dance .

dance is amazing.

but i will admit its become far to stressful.

i always knew that everyone has their year

where their just uber frustrated ..

and this year is that year for me .

i some time hate going to class just because i hate being pushed aside

and just one of the ones who are there .

thats my rant .

and im done for now

cause im in class and have work to do ..

pictures

there we go.
finally
here are pictures of the baby
i actually miss her.
some of my friends had the baby during the week
and i totally just wanted to steal her
and take her home!
but i can't

tonight is my friend's sweet 16 party.
were going skating,
and than heading off to her house.
than spending the night.
it should be alot of fun!
i'll put pictures up tomorrow =)

..

so i handed in my baby first thing monday morning

ended up with 97% , =)

turns out even after all the stress of a baby

i was still a good mom ,

i haven't been up to much.

just been going through some stress.

this past week has been hard.

i've felt as if the most imporant thing to me was slipping out from under my feet.

i felt like the thing i had worked so hard and felt i deserved

was completely taken away from me.

i am 100% dedicated to what i do ..

and always have been .

and than just ugh everything

all my emotions came flying up.

the fact that we are all treated so unfairly.

people our favoured and given better treatment.

i mean if it were any of those 4 people they would not have gotten

the same punishment as me

and i mean i dont ever just not go to stay at home and sit around.

no i had problems with migranes at the beginning of the year.

and than i had whiplash

and than i had a huge project.

she is lucky i even came and danced full out when i hurt my neck

because i wasn' supposed to.

i was supposed to stay home and relax

but no i danced.

and plus beginning of the year i had mono still,

and i wasn't supposed to dance at the beginning of the year.

dancing waas defntely not the easiest thing.

it took alot out of me ,

and left me with little to no energy

but i still went because i love it and am commited.

i give up so much other oppurtunities to dance.

to do competitions.

and i dont think taking my solo away is the right option ..

or well a deserved punishment

because i work hard ,

always have

and i will continue to because dance is my life.

ah ,

so yes i have realized what this babies purpose kinda is.

possibly to show me that being a parent isn't easy.

its not.

even when she's not crying and im taking a nap

i feel like im in the lightest sleep ever,

because i know im responsible for caring for the baby.

right now she has not been to bad.

cranky a bit .

hopefully this means tonight i can get some sleep.

but yes babies for me are FAR FAR FAR away.

i'd rather just hold other peoples babies,

and be an aunt eventually.

and than in like 10 years have some children.

no children for me .

ok so im guessing this is normal

and i shouldn't really complain

but come on !

i need sleep to you know .

but nope she didn't know.

she woke me up almost every 2 hours or so .

im extremely exhausted .

and that was just night 1 of 3.

than this morning i have an hour ballet class ..

and for the first 15 minutes i got to dance !

the rest was interrupted by crying .

now i have more rehearsals at 2 -4:30

hopefully since this is competition stuff

i will be able to participate in class more.

the first fourty minutes

ok so its cried three times already !

first i couldnt figure out how to get it to beep

meaning it knows im here.

than baby needed to be feed for 20 minutes.

just as i was about to put her back in the carrying thing

she started crying again

needing to be burped ..

oh than a couple minuts later needed it diaper changed.

and this was just fourty minutes of the 63 hours.

oh dear .

im gonna be tired by the end of the weekend.